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Stephen Colbert from The Stephen Colbert Show. 

Cheater

"Ruby Woo, if you put this much energy, thought, and creativity to studying instead of cheating, you'd be the smartest girl in school" 

- One of my high school teachers

When I was in middle school and up to high school, I used to cheat in my exams. I never opened a book. I never studied unless I was forced to by my father after his threats. I used to be the godfather of cheating. Every technique a person can think of, I already tried them. Bored of these old methods of cheating, I came up with new ones. Girls used to come up to me asking me to help them with cheating.

I'll share with you a few of my cheating techniques:

1. The usual writing on thighs. This is one of the easiest around cause whenever a teacher orders you to lift your skirt to see the writings, you can always use the excuse that it's a "3awra" mayjooz. I took advantage of writing on my skin. I even wrote things between my fingers. I used to come back home covered in writings. This one time I wrote things on the palm of my hand and went back home, I slept and when I woke up, my face was covered with prints of my handwriting.
2. Writing on teeny tiny papers aka barasheem. These are also easy but you have to be quick in case someone catches on to you. Hehe once during finals barshamt all the quran and a7adeeth for imti7an il deen and my teacher came to me so I panicked and swallowed them. I don't know what's worse, cheating with Quran or actually eating it? Going to hell rawasi staghfarallah. 
3. Hiding the barasheem inside the pens. Get a normal pen and empty it from the inside and just roll the birshama in, in which you can read it without having to take it out. 
4. I also used to write everything on my chest. One glance down and you got your answers. 
5. I used to bring in a bottle of water and I stick my birshama behind the sticker. If the bottle is full, they can't see the birshama. So I just drink up the water halfway through the exam and just copy it at the end. I throw the bottle at the way out.
6. I would also write on my sleeve and fold it once to hide it. I'd just pretend to be adjusting my sleeves if I needed help. 
7. I once used a tiny tape recorder to record Quran. I used one piece of the headphones and covered it with my hair. This is to be done at the beginning cause it's hard to rewind or forward. 
8. I used to tease my hair and spray it with hairspray to get it to stiffen up to hide a few of my barasheem since I'm out of places in my pockets or pencil case. 
9. Last but not least, as my friend once said, "Woo you can just use your giraffe skills to mooch off answers from others" LOL so true! 

There you have it. This is what I used to do during exams. I was never afraid of getting caught, I was actually pretty good at it. Of course now that I'm in college, I wouldn't dare do any of the above. I shifted my energy to actually studying which is MUCH more better. 

P.S For those of you still in school, don't cheat! 

Keep On Waiting

Waiting.. counting every second of every minute of every day till Thursday arrives. Until then, I'm too stressed out. Whoever said summer courses were easier should just go jump off a bridge. 

Anyway, so I was working on my project at a friends house. We were sitting there bored out of our minds so Noor starts telling us about a video she got by email called, "Two Girls, One Cup". I remembering reading about it on Perez Hilton about how disgusting it was so I just thought it was nasty porno. She later tells us the story behind it: Heroin addicts (the 2 girls) needed a dose, but they didn't have any money so a guy offered them some if they complied to appearing in his video under his terms. Curiosity got the best of us and we saw the video, one word: REVOLTING! We literally gagged and were about to throw up what we ate for the past year. I'm too ashamed to say what was in the video. It's not porn, it's just something disgusting 3ama b 3ainhom how could they stand doing that. Would an addict stoop that LOW just to get a fix? I'm scarred for life. I hate people.. They're so nasty. 

P.S Warning, do not, I repeat DO NOT in a million years think about watching it. 

My Naps & I

As stupid as this post may sound to you, I just had to declare my love to naps. I simply adore naps, as awful as they can get when a person wakes up mista3sir and cranky. I love napping when I come back from my classes tired and deprived from sleep the night before. I love napping when the weather outside is so hot that I come back to my chilled room and curl under my fluffy blanket and doze off to the most beautiful nap a girl can get. Or when the weather is cold outside and you come back home to your room and curl under your warm covers wearing your gap sweater to warm you up. I love it when I doze off to sleep and its still sunny outside only to wake up to pure darkness outside. I love my 3-6 hour naps. I hate naps that come in less than 2 hours, now those make me grouchy and mnafsa as hell. Still, a I love them naps. I love them that much to blog about them. 

If that's not love then I don't know what is.. 

P.S I just woke up from one :-) 

The Cookie Monster

My sister gave me a cookie recipe to try out. I was stressed out so I needed something to take the edge off. It was my first time to bake cookies so I was nervous and a bit excited; I wore an apron even though it wasn't necessary, I tied my hair neatly and tightly in a bun so that no one would choke on a stray hair ;p. Anyway, so I started whisking and mixing while my sister supervised since she's the cooking expert. 

First batch was a bit crunchy on the bottom. Second batch was slightly less crunchy. Third batch was PERFECTION. It's true what they say, Third Time's a Charm.

My brother tasted some and asked me to bake 4 dozens 7ag Diwaniya tomorrow. I'm assuming it's a success, no? Must go celebrate. 

P.S It's a secret recipe. 

The Perfect Ending

Just when you think your day couldn't get any worse.. 

you get 4 flat tires :)

Selfless Deed

I was watching Friends the other day, and for once in the history of the show, Joey had actually said something that in a way makes perfect sense. A brilliant theory might I add. 

"There's no such thing as a selfless deed..."

It's true. I always thought that whilst performing a good deed, you might dub yourself as a selfless person for taking up the time, resources, and energy in helping others when in reality it doesn't hold any benefit to you whatsoever. That your acts come from the kindness of your heart. However, I would like to add that I agree with Joey when he says that there's no such thing as a selfless deed. Think about it, whatever you do, you'll always get something in return. Be it material incentives or non-material incentives. For example, my sister might ask me to help her with her report, I'd do it in a heartbeat but in return, she'll help me with my report. The same thing goes to non-material incentives which are mostly psychological incentives in which for example, I might help a complete stranger in something and yes I won't get anything in return, but I will have a sense of satisfaction and I would feel good on the inside because my supposedly "selfless" deeds, so in the end I got something. I felt good about it in the end so I gained something from my deed. 

I know it might be confusing and the way I'm explaining might not be so clear, but do you get where I'm going with this? I never thought about it this way, and when I first heard it I thought it would be interesting to share. 

P.S Decided to stick to original template.